Visions of a Half Blind Man.

you’ll have to follow me along here, there are no photos nor pictures.

You’re sweating. The day is so hot, and the sun is burning your skin. Your shirts and pants are sticking to you, and as you sit in the car you get no relief even as it travels 50 mph down the road. You can feel sweat going down your sides inside your shirt and your back feels dry but you realize that it is so insulated and hot that you don’t feel the dampness. You worked all day, laboring hard in the sun. You’re hydrated, but that hydration seems to escape as soon as you take a swig of that warm jug of water. You make your way through a twisty turns laden road. You feel the sun move from your face out of the driver’s side window, just as quickly to return to make your sweaty, dirty brow as a drop of sweat rolls into the corner of your eye, blinding you for a moment with a sting.

You come around a bend, and see a small pond on the side of the road. You’re seeing the blue water surrounded by pine trees. You’ve had enough, you have to stop to dunk your head in the water. You pull your car off the side of the road, grab your keys and leave your wallet in the glove compartment. You remove shoes and then peel off your socks, tossing them in the back seat. You put your feet back into your shoes, feeling quite relieved already. You cross the road after checking for oncoming cars, and brush aside the branches of tree that are coming towards your face. You duck under a large branch to see a small sandy area. You notice how it looks nothing like sand at the ocean, but a hardened white sand, with a few prints from the birds. You remove your sticky shirt. It’s not easy, and smells like body odor. The residue sweat coats the top of your neck, giving you a small relief from the sun soaked neck. You lift your left leg and remove your shoe, then the other. You feel vulnerable. You can’t run if someone came near your car. You can’t run through the rough woods without some foot protection.

You remove your glasses and place them in your left shoe.

You no longer see items, but shapes looking for interpretation. A small log on the side of the pond has a stump. A stump is a stump until it runs away, with its soft brown tail following it. You see colors all the more, and use your mind to tell you what items are what, giving you not a lot of confidence. You approach what you believe to be the water. You put your foot into the brown moving liquid. You feel the sand from your foot dissipate while you also feel soft, sand encompass it. You feel a rock, and kick it away. You enter with both feet and begin to walk. You feel a rock under your left foot and then something under your right that feels squishy and like seaweed. You continue into the water, investigating each footstep for less than a second before you quickly remove them and push forward in case something you stepped on was not something you wanted to step on.

You smell the lake, it has a variety of scents. You never smell a Yankee Candle like this, and you don’t think you would want to. It smells clean but dirty at the same time. You feel the cold water washing your sweat away. Your core temperature is dropping, and you wipe your cool wet hand across your brow. That’s it, you’re going under. As you dive forward, a sensation of cold moves up your hands, your arms, your forehead, face, head, and then chest. You’re under, and feel weightless. All the muscles of your body are relaxed, you float through the water effortlessly. You take your hands and rub them from your forehead through your head to the back. You feel the water slide in between your individual hairs and cool your sweaty head.

Looking up, you see a field of green on the land in front of you. As you pan across the pond, you see one opening of light blue, followed by a continuum of green. You have to interpret the colors and shapes. You see sharp blotches of brown and dark shadows, and must realize that these are the pinetrees lining the pond. The light blue is that of the sky, meaning that the pond you’re in is continued from another location. Some doggypaddling towards the light blue reveals an opening to more water. You see the green and blue swirls coming towards you, and hear boats in the distance. You feel the wake of a boat as you make your way closer and closer to the light blue. You smell the lake no more, you’ve become accustomed to it. It smells clean, and a fresh breeze, the first of the day, hits your face. You can’t help but continue forward. Those rows of pinetrees are beside you, and you see a vast amount of water. You must be now in a larger pond. You push forward, and see white blotches in the light blue, representing the clouds. You see in the distance a beautiful view, even without your glasses. You see the light blue separated from the water by forest green but hazy land. A large mountain is in the distance, and can see the shadows of late afternoon lined across it making its ridges stand out. The breezes have picked up, and you move your body to your back. You’re laying out and stop kicking your feet. As you lay supine, you bring your feet up to the water level. Look forward. Light blue on the top with some white blobs. Forest green with dark green ridges all hazy are sitting on top of the blue and green continuously moving swirls coming towards your face. Amongst the swirls, two pink items, framing your view and representing your feet and toes.

You are cool, you are relaxed. The hard work of the day is the last thing you want to think about. You try hard to forget the heat of the sun toasting you alive. You can’t help but remember because you’re thinking about how all that work brought you to this point. Where you can be free. You can be alive here. You face feels awkward from the lack of weight of your glasses at the same time as your body feels as if it could float away. You can spend some time trying to identify moving objects on land, you spend more time staring off into the distance, identifying things you think you see. Then you stop and just look at the colors, the shapes, and appreciate them for what you can see.

You can’t see anything, but you can see everything.

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